paragon of dreams

a little poetry wudn't hurt

2005-05-15T02:22:00.000-07:00

Dreamers and Sinners

I was once told that if we dreamt of good things,
It could probably come true.
Not knowing how much of dreaming was ample,
To get me closer to the place I wanted to go.

I was once told that if we thought badly of ourselves and others,
I would have sinned and been ostracized by throngs
But not actually knowing what was good or bad to think about,
I went about clueless and dissatisfied.

Bickering fools

Why do I get upset when we’re apart?
And even more so when we’re together?
Uncovering more and more of your habits,
I fall in love with you more and more.

Is it the little evil jealous ego in me?
That puts you into a fix?
Or the soft hearted complexion of my nature,
That allows me to forgive you over and over again.

im lacking in words to write, but i think i will try to write more.. going to watch nikolas play with fairul's team. hope there isn't going to be any fights. *crosses fingers*
can't wait for communications lesson on monday.. i just seem to enjoy the lesson being taught and plus the facilitator is a fun guy too. its nice to not have tosali or magdalene once in a while.. gets.. dreary sometimes doesn't it?

aights,
joslyn... out!

hmm

2005-05-14T11:26:00.000-07:00

why cant i seem to see anything new in my blog?
has it expired already?

Long abandonment of blog

2005-04-28T22:58:00.000-07:00

Hiiiiii...

yes, the terror is back. mwahahahaha.
im not going to update cos whoever reads this should be quite updated already. whahaha.
okay, a few pointers.. i just started school at RP... and i think its a great school. except for the "great wall of RP". which is the menacing steps poor year ones have to climb every damn morning and afternoon. which isn't so bad since it helps to keep us in shape.. 'cept that the weather is so damn humid these days.. i already need another shower when i get home.
ahhh, im not working in Fila anymore.. but i hope i still retain my benefits.. at least for a while more before the old ones move out and new ones kick in. whahahaa.
anyways.. i need to sleeep soon. already 11:13pm.. another brand new day of puzzling hair-pulling problematic day..

joslyn out.

plain yogurt

2005-02-17T00:23:00.000-08:00

why can't life be like plain yogurt. strawberry even.
i just want to enjoy sweet blissful carefree days.
no worries about my going-to-be-fucked-up-o-level-results.
no worries about who's this or that.
no worries about getting fat or staying at the very impish height that i am still at.
no worries about paying my next phone bill.
no worries about whether terrorist are going to attack singapore.
no worries about whether there'll be another epidermic like SARS or the avid BirdFlu.
no worries about whether the earth revolves around the world or the world around us.
no worries about whether i have to type no-worries in my next blog.

god i am so out of context.

issues of trust

2005-02-17T00:03:00.000-08:00

if you keep thinking that all my messages were somehow my mistake, that i accidentally sent them to you when it was meant for someone else, you can continue living in your livid little suspicious world. i have had enough of it. im not going to tell you that i love you until u understand. period.

you're my everything.

2005-02-15T08:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a fantastic day... of course it had to be, valentine's day always seem good for anybody, whether they were in love or just looking for it. some might disagree, im not too sure..

Spent three quarters of the day working in Fila IMM, was actually happy to see more men entering the boutique to buy gifts for their wifes/girlfriends.. shows that there's still some romantiscm in this world after all.

Headed back to Woodlands right after work, but picked out two albums for my dearest at the Popular.. Got him Shin Yue Tuan and Jay Chou's latest album. Yeah i know it isn't the latest but he wanted it so i guess, why not?

Guess what he did for me? Okay, it wasn't exactly a surprise because i told him to cook instead of us both spending tons of money eating out.. He prepared grilled pork chops [already in small portions] and added a potato with the mayo and bacon bits, carrots and brocolli to go.. Mushroom soup and a root beer vanilla ice-cream float. uhhhmmm... d-e-licious! i was touched actually by the amount of food and the little bit of time he took to conjure up the masterpiece with.. three hours! and he zoomed all the way back from school just to cook for me.. so sweet right??? i haven't made the wrong choice when i left that bastard. ^_^ time spent together after that is classified and not suitable for young children reading this blog entry. hahahaha.

To me, that dinner was romantic enough for me, and i definitely loved every bit of it. Albeit short, it was memorable. He didn't need to tell me that he loved me, i already knew when i stepped into his house.

with love,
joslyn

tear-jerker

2005-02-07T02:19:00.000-08:00

hi all..
had a wonderful offday but now its back to work work work. stress man. anyway.. chinese new year is here! happy anyone? i am. (= but i still have to work until 6:30pm on tuesday.. then head down to my cousin's place for dinner. i wish i could bring nikolas, but i reckon he'll be having dinner with his own family too. so i shall not be selfish and steal him away from them all.

anyways, 'chu-yi' is our fourth month. don't know what to get for him leh. plus! february fourteenth is coming soon too. i have absolutely no idea on what i should get for him. chocolates are too ordinary, clothes are bad luck and a wallet is plain senseless. *tugs hair out of head for inspiration*

both of us have been upset with each other for talking to members of the opposite sex. which is a funny thing since i didn't really mind my ex-s doing that, maybe also because i didn't love them that much. or maybe cos they didn't really matter to me like how nikolas matters to me and how i matter to him. sigh. sometimes we fight until we shout and scream - usually its me doing the screaming - until i break down and cry or he's the one crying - which is really rare - and then i cry with him. how silly can the two of us get huh? apparently, extremely.

but anyways, i still love him no matter what. no one can ever come between us because there's not enough space in between us, i mean literally too. our love for each other is overflowing. blaah blaahh. i am writing rubbish. that's maybe because im in lovee too. gahh. i should stop my proclamations of undying love. hehh.

anyways, i have to go now. eyelids are drooping slowy, ever so, slooowly.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

sympathy kills.

2005-02-03T08:22:00.000-08:00

aww yes, offday is finally here. been waiting for a long time already.
couldn't actually believe my luck too when i found out that jiayi wasn't working in Plaza Sing today. *leaps and jumps* i can't stand her. so freaking fucked up. ^_^

anyways, heading down to Singapore Poly tomorrow! hope i won't get disappointed! i wanna check out the design school, business school and uhmm. yeh, that's about it i guess. going out with Nikolas after that. yayyyy. we're going shopping. i wanna buy chinese new year clothes, bra+undies, mwhahaha. good day, can't wait.

my feet hurts though. spent too many hours standing up and walking around. gahh, i need a long break.

if i traded all for one thing

2005-02-01T01:39:00.000-08:00

what would you give up to be with the only person who ever loved you?

if you enjoy wasting time, that time is not wasted - how true.

im starting to think that if i actually worked hard in OG, i can actually produce results. take today for example, the target set for the last day of the month was 1 k. and you ask, how the fuck does one achieve the almost impossible on a monday? consistent pestering i tell you. consistent. i even cut my break short to twenty minutes instead of an hour. normally we earn about 300 to 400 on a monday/weekday. and yet, i managed to achieve $735. yes, even though i didn't make 1 k. im still happy with 7hundred. aren't you? won't you?

God, the faggoty office people should come down to OG (includes H. and ultimate bytch) and see the situation for themselves man. its disgusting. i have time to catch flies and whack mosquitoes. yes, even in ultra freezing air-conditioned OG, you can still find pests of nature.

Good day, good s***. Am going to IMM tomorrow. *wave of nausea* i dread the place. am even going for full shift. jo/serene must see my arse @ 10.45am sharp. or they'll prolly nag my ears out. or worse, complain to irene. gahhh! going to sleep before dark circles decide to camp permanently under my eyes.

p.s. can you imagine me wearing lipstick?! we have to when we work. orders from ultimate bytch. and for goodness's sake i don't even own a tube of fish scales. gahhhh.

Untitled

2005-02-01T00:18:00.000-08:00

Simple Plan - Untitled
I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

i love this song, i don't know why. even though im not feeling like it. its just sad. im a little sadistic huh.

Broken

2005-01-30T01:49:00.000-08:00

Seether Feat. Amy Lee - Broken

I wanted you to know

That I love the way you laugh

I wanna hold you high

And steal your pain, away

I keep your photograph

And I know it serves me well

I wanna hold you high

And steal your pain

Because I'm broken

When I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right

When your gone away

You've gone away

You don't feel me here, anymore

The worst is over now

And we can breathe again

I wanna hold you high

And steal my pain, away

There's so much left to learn

And no one left to fight

I wanna hold you high

And steal your pain

Cause I'm broken

When I'm open

And I don't feel like

I am strong enough

Cause I'm broken

When I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right

When your gone away

Cause I'm broken

When I'm open

And I don't feel like

I am strong enough

Cause I'm broken

When I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right

When your gone away

Cause I'm broken

When I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right

When your gone away

You've gone away

You don't feel me here, anymore.